Culinary Contrivance

I was tinkering around in the kitchen a while back and came up with this fun and easy to make recipe which I think any self respecting masochist will thoroughly enjoy...( it also indicates that I shouldn't be left alone for longer than an hour or so without adult supervision).


Mr. Peabody's Upside Down Chicken Pie...
 1 Large Marie Callenders Chicken Pot Pie
 1 Bottle Bud Lite Lime +
 1 Roll Paper Towels
 1 Large Spatula
 1 Bottle Clorox Clean Up

 Take frozen pot pie and open both ends of special browning box. ( this is important )

 Place pie, ( still in box ) in high power, over the stovetop type microwave oven, cook on high power for 9 minutes.

 Upon removing scalding hot pie from oven, allow pie to slide backwards out of box in such a way as to invert pie. Allow inverted ( upside down ) pie to strike stovetop with such force as to disseminate molten, blistering hot contents throughout kitchen.

 ( if using counter top style microwave, simply raise pie 24 to 30 inches above stove before initiating inversion process described above )

 Scrape up salvageable remnants of still bubbling hot pie with large spatula and place on plate, whilst enjoying the tactile sensation ( searing pain ) of
 the molten pie components ( gravy covered peas, carrots )  that may have come in contact with any exposed skin. ( face, hands )

 Clean remaining pot pie residue from stove top, counter top, cabinets and floor with Clorox Clean Up and paper towels ( Scott towels work best,
 but any brand will do in a pinch )

 Drink bottle of Bud Lite Lime. ( amount can be adjusted to taste )

 Change clothes ( optional )